Six Common Blocks to Accessing Intuition
The most common barriers and how to address them.
By Robin Arnett, LCSW
Our intuition is a powerful ally, and can be the foundation for living our lives with connection, energy, and integrity. Although so many people desire to live intuitively, I also hear often from those who struggle to connect. This is a common experience in our modern world, and is by no means a sign that you don’t have an intuition, or will never form a relationship with it. When you’re feeling stuck and like you can’t access your gut, you may be experiencing one of the barriers that I’ll flesh out in this blog. These are:
Blocking beliefs
Inconvenient truths
Internal “parts”
Cultural ideas around norms and logic
Self-doubt
Difficulty with boundaries
While these blocks are common, they are also very possible to overcome. See which of these ring true for you.
Blocking Beliefs
We all develop schemas and belief systems based in our childhood environment, our culture, and our experiences. Some of these are helpful as we grow older, and some of them are not. Sometimes these beliefs can be loud and strong enough to drown out our intuition.
Common beliefs that block intuition show up as “shoulds” and “should nots.” Beliefs like, “I should be satisfied with what I have,” “I should prioritize other peoples’ needs,” “I shouldn’t inconvenience others,” or “I shouldn’t ask for too much,” can all run counter to what we know inside. Running our lives according to these shoulds can create a false sense of safety, but leave us disconnected and exhausted inside.
Inconvenient Truths
Sometimes our gut may be telling us something that we don’t want to hear. Inconvenient truths may force you to confront difficult situations, have hard conversations, and make big changes to your life. When our intuition is telling us that we need to make a tough decision, we often block it out. This might look like knowing that a relationship isn’t right for us, that we’re not happy in our job, or that the place that we live doesn’t feel like home. Making changes in order to listen to our gut can mean big adjustments and significant loss.
As understandable as it is to want to avoid a hard truth, the truth has a way of finding us. What I have often seen is that when we fail to listen to our intuition for too long, we are hit with curve balls that force us to face reality. This could look like an unexpected job loss, a crisis, or an illness. In the end, the Universe has a way of guiding us toward what we need to learn and experience, and has only good intentions. You can avoid more suffering by listening and doing the hard thing. Avoidance only delays the inevitable, and often makes it more painful.
Internal Parts
According to the theory behind Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, each of us is composed of internal “parts” that play different roles as a part of our personalities and our psyches. Parts tend to fall into categories of exiles and protectors. In addition to our parts, we all have a core internal Self. The Self is the natural leader of the system, and is inherently calm, compassionate, confident, connected, courageous, curious, creative, and clear. The Self is also the seat of our intuition.
As we grow up, it is common for parts to take over if they feel the need to protect us. This happens when we are asked to grow up too fast, and when we have experiences that can’t be processed fully at such a young age. When our parts are used to running the show, it can be scary for them to think about letting the Self step in to take the lead. Parts that struggle with this transition commonly show up as over-thinkers and controllers. When this happens, intuition is often pushed down in favor of business as usual and perceived safety.
Helping parts to loosen their grip is a slow and loving process that involves mindfulness and self-compassion. Working with an IFS therapist is a great start. You can also build trust by making small decisions using intuition, and helping your parts to build evidence that it usually works out quite well.
Cultural Ideas Around Norms and Logic
Our culture prioritizes and overvalues “logic,” aka what sounds good on paper. The assumption is that pure analytical thinking will lead to better results, and that we should block out our emotions when we make decisions for fear of deciding on something “illogical.” (This isn’t true, by the way. Research shows that our intuition helps us to make better decisions with higher long-term satisfaction.) How you feel about something is actually valuable qualitative data.
Whenever someone says that something is “logical,” I have to ask - what does that even mean when it comes to our personal lives? “Logical” can often become code for what makes sense from a masculine or capitalist perspective, with a focus on numbers and a scarcity mindset. The perception of logic is also strongly linked to the idea of “shoulds” and “should nots” noted above. Here are some ways that the dynamic between logic and intuition often plays out:
Perceived safety vs. taking a risk
Fear vs. faith
Thinking vs. feeling
Scarcity vs. abundance
Other peoples’ expectations vs. your own desires
Living life from an intuitive place requires a fundamental shift, which can feel frightening as you step into something new. Remember though that living intuitively is not foolish or crazy. In fact, there is ample scientific evidence to support intuition as an essential tool and guide.
Difficulties with Boundaries and Other Peoples’ “Stuff”
When you start to get in better alignment with yourself and follow your gut, this can be disruptive for people around you who are used to you being a certain way, and who may have trouble tuning in to intuition themselves. Taking a path of trusting your intuition may feel threatening to people in your life who have chosen a different path. They are likely to have an inner sense of fragility about how they run their lives, and seeing you do it differently can feel personal.
It’s also likely that your intuition will tell you about places in your life where you need to set boundaries, which can be disruptive in other ways. In fact, tuning in to intuition is essential in setting boundaries that are in alignment with your integrity, your desires, and your values. When you start to do things differently, you can anticipate pushback. Feelings of guilt and obligation are normal in this phase, and can be a block to accessing your inner knowing.
Self-Doubt
Many people have the experience of knowing something in their gut and then talking themselves out of it due to self-doubt and self-criticism. Self-doubt is an extremely common experience for women for all of the reasons discussed above, and can be even stronger for people who have experienced gaslighting in abusive relationships or family dynamics. Gaslighting is a deliberate undermining of intuition. When we’ve had these experiences, especially starting at a young age, we want to make sure we're not missing something, which leads to self-doubt and overthinking.
How Can You Tell What’s Not Your Intuition?
Another question that comes up often is how to know when you are not accessing intuition. You can always tell that you are disconnected from intuition when you feel a sense of urgency, anxiety, or forcing. We can convince ourselves that it’s our intuition just because the feeling in strong, but intuitive messages come through as confident, clear, and calm. When we’re trying to make something happen, we will instead feel rushed and feel an urge to control.
Building Connection
Strengthening intuition is easier than it may seem when you’re experiencing these blocks, but it is a lifelong process, and a practice that we must return to every day. The first step is uncovering the blocks that you’re experiencing, and making a commitment to address them. You can also strengthen intuition through some simple steps, which are outlined further in this blog post. Your intuition is your birthright. Regardless of any blocks that you are experiencing now, know that it is there for you, and will be there as you work to build that connection.
